CHAPTER38

HEEELLOOOO


so so so sorry for being late, but I'm a summer blog with summer memories and i would like to keep my                          signature, so here is the post and there are many posts are coming in the way<3

                          read the previous post so you can remember the events 3ADEL

                     THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO @Asooma_E @Dalxli @Mblogger710

         AND SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO MY BEST GIRLS @alawadhi_j  @deemaalduaij.
                                                                enjoy the post<3

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nourra.


 did  the people on earth just finish? she is my brother friend's sister? omg every time I see her face I remember her never ending fakeness. 
                                    
 I hate her and I cant help it, I'm a real person unlike her:)
                                                           
but I have to act, just for my brother. him and only him.
                                                     
jawa *biggest fake smile ever*: ohh nourrra :D!!  

nourra: a7laaa 9edfaaa jad, enty ekht rfej fa9ol ely kla ysoulf 3anhaaa

I ignored the weird thing she just said and continued the conversation..

jawa: haha guess so, shlounch?

 I couldnt listen to what she was saying, I was busy imagining the best way to torture her, I held my laugh.. I imagined really funny things

nourra: ha shraych?
                     
jawa: haa ee ok ok

*matdre shsalfa 6ab3an bas maknt abe atfashal*

we were walking between spain's old streets while talking, well she was talking and I was pretending to listen, her brother was acting akwardly weird, i didn't like that...

nourra: hahahaaay waay okhouy thaareeef, saa7 jawaaa?

jawa*straight face* : ha  ha  ha ee?


slaiman was laughing too, but I knew 3alla my face mo 3shan her stupid brother::::


slaiman: ha ng3ad blgahwa, khush 6alla 3al ba7ar

nourra: ee ta3abt please

fai9al: yala mshaina

I was busy imitating her w ehya tgoul *t3aaaabt* ,knt 3bara 3an yahel::!

we walked to the cafe..

nourra: e7na eb ng3ad eb 6awla brou7, bnsoulf swalf banat hahahaaa

9ra7a damha wayd khfef haha hoho hehehe..

we sat in the table, and she brought her chair closer to mine

nourra: jawa mat9dgen! chfty bader ely gtlch knt aklma bs kan yl3ab?

my heart skipped a beat..

jawa: madre ee chna

nourra: 6ala3 khushhh wa7d, t2sfleee w gall ena I'm the one w ra7 ytzwajne w gal ena 7awal ynsani bas magedarr, sooo cuteeee 9aaaaaa7!

I did my best trying to act normal, I forced my tears back.. she is the one? could it be? she is the one he was talking about in the letter? but nourra lied once and maybe she is lying again, she was suspicious and I really didn't know if she was honest or lying.

jawa: alaah yhnech denya w a5raa, bas esm7ele shloun eb ytzawaj wa7da kan yl3ab 3laiha? aw shloun enty terthain?

nourra: aa-ah la y3ne mu y3ne entay fahamty ghala6, elmuhm mashkuraa w enty ba3ad enshala tet'hnain..

I told her what i really think, its not bader or that i hate her.. i acted and said based on the situation generally, ehya kalamt w ksarat theqat ahalha, wely kalmha kan y3lab 3laiha, did that sound right? or its just me? im sure in that point i was right honestly.

she kept showing me bbm conversation between her and bader as she said, and i kept smiling.. shgoulha y3ne?

minutes were hardly passing by,untill my amazing cousin called..i smiled &  quickly answered the phone

fahad; ha nfkch w nmrch wala nkhlech t67sen?

jawa: haha fahad ee

fahad: shnu ee?

jawa: fahad mayth7k

fahad: shaklch mstansa, nkhlech akthar shwy *laughing*

jawa: laaaaaaaaa fahad

fahad: yala bl6rej e7na okay?

i turned my face and looked at sloum w gave him stare, ena ok now ymruni, he shook his head ena okay la tmouten::

jawa: we 7safa 3ad mstansa wyaa nourra

fahad laughed and closed the phone, 15 minutes or less and her was in the cafe parking with my other cousins

jawa: yala bye mashya ana

i didn't even wait for her response, i jumped in the car and i just felt enaa * IMM IN SPAIN BABEE*


we spent the night in the port and marbella, it was more than magical..

the days in spain were similiar to each other but each one of them was special, no attachments no drama just family, cousins and fun


*last day in spain*

i closed my eyes refusing to close my bag and go downstairs, i was refusing to leave because i know my heart will stay here.

i wore my shoulder cut light blue top with ripped leggings and silver necklace, and went down stairs

jawa: 9ba7 elkhair

mama: 9ba7 elnoor, ha stanstay ams eb 7afltkum?

ahh davids guetta concert, no words can explain, and no feelings can be shared.

jawa *while jumping on the chair*: YUMMAA A7LA YOUM MAGDAR ATKLM SHKTHR KAN 7ELW LAW AGREG LEN AMOUT YUMA BABCHE LAMAN ATHAKAR YUMMA YUMA

slaiman: bas 9kaity rasna kaffi el7afla w aghaneych elmuz3eja amsssss!

mama: khalha mestansa, khu mara wa7da mako ghairha

jawa: yumma shqa9dch, mrtain w thlath w arba3 laish laa

baba: 9ba7km 7annaa, 9kaktw jna6km?

jawa: ana eeee w khaynzlunhm elkhadam l2na ba6la3 w bastansle akher thanyaa

baba: shahar w ne9 w mashb3tay?

jawa: yubba mnu yshba3 goule ent, mnu yshba3?

slaiman: eeee wala ybteha rayt jawwa.



*fahads calling*

fahad: eb ntmasha akher tamshya gabel ma nesh7an elsyara, btyen?

jawa:la7tha as2al omi, mama 3ade arou7 m3ahm ntmasha akher yum, please?

mama: s2lay obouch tadren may7b wayd nrou7 mt2khar 7ag elma6ar!

baba: mu mushkla rou7ay bas la ttet2khrain

jawa: a7bekm, aloo fahad sm3t. yala murney w bsr3a

fahad: murney mureny etha..

* i closed the phone on his ugly voice*


i ate my corn flakes while waiting them to come..

*fahad calling*

fahad: yala e7na braa

jawa: okay kanii, bye mama bye baba

fahad: w etha 9krtay eltlfo...

* i hung up again*

 I'm just a stubborn girl=))!

i head to the door and went outside, i saw my cousins in the car and fahad was driving, while walking to car door he quickly moved the car, their laughter was so LOUDD

jawa: hewww t3alllwww w ushhhh fashaaltuna tra frejnaa class mu mthlkm haailaagggg

7amanie* one of my cousins* : yala yala emshay yal class=))

i walked again to the car and rode in, i changed the song to one of my favourites..crank it up -david guetta

khaled: mu kaffy 7afltch elmz3ja eli mwdytna 7agha, la7gtna eb hal aghane elzeft!! ghayray nabe 3raggi

jawa: 6a3 6a3 w tgoulin mu hailag

fahad: ana eb hal nuq6a wyaha, hailag=))


we kept fighting yet enjoying our last ride in those heart stopping, breath taking streets...

i wish those moments would last forever, but its special and valuable because its unrepeatable.



...

*in the plane*

I had my headphones on, and just kept remembering our days in spain, and kept hoping that it would be the same next year.


after 8 hours or so, we finally arrived KUWAAIITTT<3

we collected our bags and shibo, our driver was waiting for us, wesaid ourgoodbyes and every family divided in its own way..

*HOME SWEET HOME*

as soon as we reached our house, i quickly ran to my G-CLASSS and hugged it, sloum took a picture while laughing and sent it in the family group.. he will pay the price, but the picture was cute actually=))


we opened the lights and ghezlan was there with her husband, the house was decorated and their was dinner on the table

ghzlan: 7AMDLAHH 3ALL SALA..

i didn't give her a chance to continue, i went and jumped on her and hugged her so hardddddd

jawa; I MISS YOUUUUUUUUU SOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHH

*slaiman took another picture and sent it in the group, i will kill him*=))

abdula said while looking at ghezlan and smiling: ha shway shway 3la ghezlan, shayla elbchr malllyy

all of us were shocked, yet happyyyy we couldntttt believe itttttt!

but my moms yebab made it real! ba6at athounaaa:)::

mama: waaaay b9eeeerrr yaddaaaaaaa,a7laaa khaabaaarrrrrr

baba: mabrookkk w enshala btsmuna 3layy

slaiman: yuba shnu hatha la 3alay

khaled: lalalalala 3lay ana bchrkm


abdula telling ghezlan: hatha w ehwa lel7ien ma6al3 w matdrun etha 9bay wala bent=))

jawa: 6ab3an etha bent ma nwajeh ay mushkla, 3ad enshala te6l3 7elwa 3ala 3amt"ha

slaiman: khalatha ya 7athe, entay kafoo bnt ekht=))

khaled: zain khan kamel swalf hal 6awla, yu3an ana.. ghezlan fahma ba6ne enty=))

ghezlan: mayabela fehm, klla yu3an ent=))


* and the night was just an amzing family night*



---




after three months


ghezlan stomach was getting bigger, i started the collage and i was studying hard and my grades were good, yet I enjoyed the  collage life with my friends and cousins,and bader? i still remember every detail of him and smile, and also remember that letter and my heart starts aching, but even though my life was perfect and i wouldn't exchange it for any other life.


but one day, all of that changed, in one confession and one response to that confession


usually your heart is broken by the people that you love but who despoints you,
   but my heart was broken by my own hands by my own choise..



it was a normal Friday, i woke up i went to the bathroom and did my business including a freezing refreshing shower, i prayed and combed my hair because i was expecting plans since its weekend, anyway i went down stairs and saw my father and mother reading the news paper.

i kissed both my mothers and fathers head and headed to the kitchen, I took an orange juice and went to the living room

mama: jawa elyoum om abdulla 3azmtna 3alla shailahum, tyen okaay?

my heart skipped a beat, will bader be there? but why do i even care when he is in love with nourra, nourra aw ghayrha, he dont and will not ever love me

mama: jawa aklmch ana, lel7ien nayma?

jawa: way yuma y3ne ne6ray astw3b elklaam okay okay benam?

mama: la eb neg3ad le blail b3den benam eb shalihna 3shan ham bacher 3yal 3amch beyunn

jawa: khush yala a9a79e7 w a93ad aswe jan6ty

mama: 6a3 hatha a9a79e7, ana mswya jan6ty ana w obouch w ekhwanch mzhbenha, benbadel al7ien w ne6la3 w khalech et9797eeenn

jawa: kane gemt yuma gemt 979aaa7tt khala9=))

I was hardly climbing the stairs, and after a long way i arrived to my room and shouted for manni, to bring my bag

I throw the shorts, tops, beach dresses, swimming suits and other stuff on the bed, i changed to a yellow open shoulder dress, and did a ponytail, wore my white ruber ted baker shoes flats, sprayed some perfume and left the room so the maid can put my stuff in the bag.

jawa: ana khal9alttt

mama: rkaby elsyara kana yayen

i made sure that I didn't forget my phone and headphones,

our bags were in the back, the rest of my family showed up and we headed to chalet

we arrived, i took one last look at myy self and entered the chalet..

i saw khalty om abdulla eb wayhe with ghezlan and anwar, they seem close now, *anwar is abdula's and bader's sister if you forgot*

khalty: hala hala walla eb chanety elmustqblyaa

im sure my face was blue, not white not red, BUT BLUEE

i looked at ghezlan and anwar and they were silently laughing

jawa: he he h

i didnt know what else to say...

khalty: shlounch 7bebtyy? shloun eljam3a wyach?

jawa: klshay tmam el7mdlah


ga3adt yam anwar w ghezlan on the far corner, while my rest family showed up w salemw

baba: ela wain bo abdulla?

um abdulla: kaho bas ra7 ehwa w el3yal yshtrolna 9bour 3shan nashwe 7ag elghadaa


el3yal.. does she mean bader too? omg jawa snap out of it!!!

baba: 3adel, hatha elakel el7elw, 3ad laish klaftw 3ala nafskm chan gltlouna, om khaled t3aref khush samach* ely ybe3 smach madre y9eda madre elmuhm shay bl semach*  ywa9el le elbait w kla fresh

mama: eee wallaa, yhabel shughlaaa

um abdulla: khush shay 36ene raqmaa wala e7na 7ag elshaleh n7b nshwe elsmach



while on our side

ghezlan: chftyy wayhch lma khalty galtlch=)), shd3wa 9dagty wya wayhch?  anwar anwar qaldaay  wayhaa=))

anwar was imitating me and they started laughing and i fakely laughed along

jawa: 3yal chfty karshtch, shkburhaa

ghezlan: 3al aqal louni 7elw

jawa: shako al7ien lounch?

anwar: ee wala ghezlan shako lounch?

ghezlan: anwar mfrouth enty on my side:)

jawa: 3ade 3ade hormonat el7aamal=))

anwar: KAAK=))

ghezlan: zain shraykm nakhth lena macdolnad w nmer starbucks w markaz sultan dam byaklun smacch?

jawa: ba3ad? matben shay thany? yakhe glna taklen 3an shakh9ain bas wath3ch 7alyan gam taklen 3na klna=))

ghezlan: lel7ien th3efa wala la? khala9 chub

anwar:1-0 jawa=))

jawa: haha -.- elmuhm entw rou7aw w yeboule mac chicken without mayo, ana maly khlg ayye

anwar: mn gal e7na nabech, bnsoulf swalf bnat kbar a9lan=))

jawa: ana bljam3a tra, 7sesune ane bljam3aaa, jam3a wala jam3a, laish a7sne routha?:'(

ghezlan: enthrbay bas yala e7na mashen


they left, me and my mother and khalty left, my dad went to the mosque,

khalty: 7bebty jawa tmshay bra 3al ba7ar eljaw yhabel

jawa: la khal..

omi gave me a stare, ena 6l3ay eb t7achene eb mwthu3

jawa: wala agoulch khalty eljaw eyanen batmsha shwy

great, just great, they all see me a kid.

i went outside and put my headphones on, played my david guetta list and sat on the swinging chair

i took my flat off and dug my feet in the sand, i started pushing the swing by my feet..the  salty wind was amazing, i took a deep breath and let it out as i push harder and fly higher in the swing..

until it suddenly stopped, i turn around and i found bader  holding the swing

yes bader, i wasnt dreaming let me explain it even though i cant, my heart jumped, i was scared that my heart showed from underneath my clothes, my tongue was tight, i couldn't say a thing, my eyes tried to speak, but i covered them with my ego and pride..

bader: ahlan jawa, taw ma nawar elshalaih

you have to act normal, as you don't know about what nourra said, as you didn't read that letter,even though i knew about the nouura thingy, it wasnt my business, he is just a kinda family relative, so yeah act super normal, its not like he know your unreaveled love toward him..

jawa: ahh bader, hala 

bader: shfech mkhtr3aa? asef etha khr3tch

omg he is so... so... i just cant find the word..

jawa: hehe la ee ena maknt 7assa fe a7d

bader: ee asef, 3ade ag3ad blderfa ely yamch, wala ma7juza:p?

i was afraid that it was a dream, because i always dream of this, being together talking about random stuff, with the sea view

jawa: mm shalaihkm magdar agoulk la

bader: jawa eb ekht9ar ana yay akalemch eb mawthou3

my eyes slowly was revealing the cover and wanted to speak wanted to tell what i was hiding for so long and i was hardly forcing it,

jawa: 3sa ma shar?

bader: mashar enshala bas sem3ene jawa, jawa tathkren awal mra gltch a7bch dm, makent al3ab wala achatheb w kent adre anch ekht zoujat okhouy, kna ana w abdulla nshufch wyaha, w salfat elletter ely kant blhadya? kent a7awel akhali elmwthu3 aqal e7raj baina dam e7na ahala, mage9 3laich ana kalamt bnat, bas makaltmhm ela ba3ad ma 7baitch, laish? 3shan ansach! jawa adre enty 9ghera bas ana a7cbh w abe atzjwch jawa, ana ra7 akoun as3ad ensan law wafqtay

my eyes finally revealed the love, tears too he was shocked, i wanted to tell him how much i love him, but i guess he knew, it felt great i felt alive by hearing those words... i was the happiest person, yet i was the saddest.. my tears? they fell, because all of what he was saying is just a lie, he loves nourra and i read it in my own eyes, i know, i just know!

bader: jawa 3younch tgoul wayd, jawa ana..


while heavy tears are falling: w nourra ya bader w nourra? rou7 tzwjha ehya "your one"

....



hope you liked it xx


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CHAPTER37

this post is dedicated to @fahda_nk  @mkal7x_ @alawadhi_j MY FAVOURITE ONCE<3!!

jad so sorry for being late, w i will try to post more W I LOVE YOU, ENJOY W TELL ME WHAT DO YOU THINK <3!






days were passing by.. we were so busy for ghezlans wedding, and after that we are going to travel since its summer...

i still didnt saw bader after the letter i got, but he has not fualt..he thought he will be make me happy and more comfortable,, little did he know right?

anyway, tommorow is ghezlan's wedding, she's so nervous and scared but that is normal..


*the day of the wedding*

we woke up around 8 am, athoub * her best friend* picked us up and we went to n-bar, to make our nails..

all the staff there were happy for ghezlan,

while making our nails we were talking, trying to  make ghezlan less nervous and let her see the bright side..

ghezlan: abdulla khush wa7d w wayd 6ayb w rayal, bas ana mt9rg3a 3al fekra..new life? new level..change

athoub: change is good

ghezlan: I hate it

we kept talking and after doing our nails we headed to smash burger, since its in the deera...so its close to alraya -where the wedding will be-

we arrived at the hotel about 3 oclock and the hair and make up dressser were waiting,

I was the first one to go, then athoub then ghezlan...


I chose something simple that fits my age.. slick ponytail with wavy endings, for the make up? coats of mascara with matte red lipstick beside the basics..  wearing this..

athoub chose for the  loose waves, that goes great with the smocky aye-shadow and nude lips with coats of mascara .. while wearing this..

and our special bride was undescribable,  she looked simple yet elegent and beautiful♡
 her hair:


wearing this dior dress, that my father bought for her as a wedding gift..♡

*phone rings*

me: hala

mama; yalla its time

me; ok yalla bye


...

me; ghezlan yalla lazm tnzlen..

ghezlan: mabe khala9 hawant

me: ghezlan tra its so normal to be afraid, it wouldnt be normal etha maknty khayfa! klman is afraid of change but its a good one, yalla new life in head of you and you will love it! w me mom dad brothers cousins friends, always gonna be on your side tra we are still going to be there!

ghezlan: ok im ready


athoub smiled to me, she was prouud of what i had to say...

we entered the alevator, and guess what? athoub was making photos for snapchat =))! hal bnya fathya jad magdar aw9ef shkthr! we laughed, made a funny face and she took the photo, save it, post it, and the alevator opened in time

ghezlan took a breath and stood infront of the big gates, 3adalna nafnufha we took a last look at her and she was  p e r f e c t ..we steped aside so when the gates are open, all the spotlight we be on her..



*gates open*

الف الصلاة و السلام عليك يا حبيب الله محمد

the song started, my tears too, but i maneged to hold them, she went blind from the flashes, me and athoub was infront of her giving her reasuring smile while she was walking down the aisle ,we knew she was afraid, but its just one of a kind moment in life, i was so happy <3!

when she finally reached the *koshha* all my family w cousins w mom w her friends started dancing infront of her and clapping, took pictures and stuff

when it was time for the men to come, my heart was racing so fast

i remmeberd.. bader is going to be here


god, god, god, god...

i was standing down the stairs beside the kosha with my mother and athoub, alone. while abdula's mother and anwar (his sister) was standing in the same place but the opposite side..

* الف الصلاة و السلام عليك يا حبيب الله محمد*

the gate was open, my heart stopped by then...

i managed to sit my ayes on my hansome father, brother and the 39aba cousins<3! they looked hansomer than ever, i was so proud of them.. they was shy too, tough situation , all womens staring  at them:::
                    i moved my ayes randomly while clapping, and it met bader...

i moved my ayes so fast.. i was afraid that anyone would notice my heart beating... it was that hard!

when they finally arrived to the kosha, abddulla climbed up the stairs and kissed ghezlan's forhead

my father and his father my brothers and cousins and his cousins started saying mbrok and stuff

i was really nervous, i mean please..being that close to him and acting like we are happy family is so hard, the heart carried so much pain and sarrow coldness and fear and acting like nothing is wrong is an impossible thing to do yet i had to do it...



            after taking photos, my father danced with his princces it was epic...



*the day after at the airport*

-starbucks-

fahad:jawa g3day mne 3alla mayswun ahalna elcheck in, tben tshrben shay?

jawa: bnaaaaaaam


the rest of the 39aba joined us, they were talking and i was half sleep..

slaiman*mybro*: oh hatha fa9ul gam ydg, 3ad 7athe 7elw mthab6 wya ana bkun eb asbanya! eb tagzeerrrr

fahad: ohh fai9al qadem, salem 3laih..

after minutes..

slaiman: jawa t9dgen ygoul 3nda ekht kubrch mnnaak btyye wya! 3ad e7na mn awal nou9al mn bacher bchoufa, t3aly slmay g3dday m3a elbnt shwy b3dain rou7ay m3ahum

jawa: uf uf zain khlne anaam:'(

...


our parents joined us, w they kept talking about the trip and the things they want to do there, till it was the time for our flight...


we entered the plane and me and fahad as always, was almost racing for the window seat and i won::!

fahad: ana khlaitch tfuzen maly khlg 7anetch..

jawa: haha ee y9er khair'

fahad: g3day khl9ena 3a6lty elnass b6ouf..

we sat and we started talking about adventures we should do this time, w i was super excited for david concert, that i started telling him what i wanted to wear and he was like *ana shako*.. after that we slept


fahad: goumay goumay goumay goumay goumay g o u m a y

jawa: humm zaaaaaaain...


we got out of the plane, i went to the bathroom.. flait sha3re put some summer light make up on sprayed some perfume and spain? HERE I C O M E

we picked our bag aand rode the cars, since we are alot with the bags and stuff.. no car would fit us jad!

we cruised around those amazing streets, the sunshine on the beach... <3!

we were so tired so we went home, cleaned the house! unpacked, had a light dinner and slept..

i woke up, and i opened the balcony.. ahhh sea breeze<3

i went down to find my family having breakfast in the garden, salamt w ga3adt w swalf w loyaa..


jasssem * one of my cousins* : yala e7na bru7 elport ntmsha shwy, tyen jawa!

jawa: akeeeeed

slaiman: hew ams gaylch blm6ar btyen wyay, slmay 3ala elbnt b3dain rou7ay wyahm! fashla na6rtch

fahad: ee 9a7 may9er.. e7na nmrch 3gb

jawa: ufff uff zain..



i went upstairs chose a yellow summer dress, with colorful sandels, light make up.. 3adalt my waves and i went down stairs..


slaiman: yala mshaina?

jawa: yala..


ba6alna elkashf akeed, shakira spanish songs blowing the speackers and we arived to marbella.. it was where we supposed to meat..


i was holding my phone and walking next to my brother while talking..

slaiman: kaffo fa9ol


...: ohhhh jawaaaa hiiii!!


guess who it was? and what will happen? you will know that in the next post xo, feedbacks pleaase

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